


Right Groom, Wrong Bride

by TheBooBox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Characters with various sexual preferences, F/F, F/M, Friendship Station, Gay Sex, Hinata is a lesbian goddess, M/M, Mutual Pining, Naruto belongs to kishimoto, Original senju character from my other fic because why not, SasuNaru endgame, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Uchiha Sasuke is a pansexual imp, Uzumaki Naruto Being an Idiot, and an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-28 14:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20065471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBooBox/pseuds/TheBooBox
Summary: Naruto is getting married. Sasuke is not having it.





	1. Diner Talk

“This is…it’s a joke right? A prank? Please tell me this is one of his elaborate idiotic ideas that he thinks are funny but are definitely not funny because I’m not laughing.”

Sasuke Uchiha sat in the dingy Oto-Diner booth across from his bandmate, fingers tense as he held her phone. The once vibrant red leather on the seats was cracked and peeling, the dim lights overhead making the place seem more dismal than it should. The off-white table between them held decades’ worth of stains, two half empty coffee cups, a silver coffee pitcher, and a plate of fries smothered in ketchup. The walls covered in faded band posters, ranging from mid-fifties to early-nineties and in all genres. It was three in the morning and they were the only patrons, the elderly waitress in a well-worn fifties-style green uniform dress dozing behind the counter, used to their nightly presence.

His normally pale face had lost all color, making him look ghost-like in the eerie yellow lighting. His white ‘Prince and the Revolution’ shirt was baggy on his slender frame, purple writing the only pop of color present in his otherwise all-black ensemble. Even his blue-black hair seemed to lose its tint in the diner. His dark eyes were focused on the text message, reading and re-reading as if the words would change.

Across from him, Kira Senju rested her chin on her hands. Another pale ghost haunting the place, with white hair, red eyes, and a black 'Misfits' shirt/jean combo. Her brow furrowed as she watched her friend go through her phone, his grip threatening to break the thing as if it was made of plastic.

“I’m sorry. But Hina said it’s for real. They want us to play the reception.”

A sarcastic, disbelieving laugh came from the man across her. “You told her no right? We are not, I repeat, NOT going to play SHIT at that sham of a wedding.”

“Sasuke…”

“No. I’m not doing it.”

“And I wasn’t going to ask you to, Dick.”

He paused from his trip into madness to look up at her, shocked. “You weren’t? Why not? He’s your cousin so shouldn’t you be supporting him or some shit?”

She reached over and slapped him on the forehead. Scowling, he rubbed the spot and pouted. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” She grabbed some fries with a fork and munched on them, ignoring the holes he was trying to burn into her. “I know all you Chinchilla’s are about that ‘blood is thicker than water’ shit, but technically Fishcake and I are related by marriage, not blood, whereas you’re basically my blood brother.”

He smirked in response. “One ’Love Rhymes with Hideous Car Wreck’ and a couple blood transfusions does pretty much make us blood-siblings I guess. But I don’t even think I can attend this. Just knowing they are together has been…I can’t sit there and watch them take their vows and pretend like it’s ok. It’s just…” He faltered, devastated. 

“I know, and you won’t have to.” Her red eyes were blazing now. He looked up and found her focused far away. “That idiot.” She was calm but he could sense her anger rising to the surface. It was what separated them from their peers and allowed them to make great fucking music. Their passion in love and anger was unmatched and selective. The only other person she would get this riled up for was her fiancé Hinata Hyuuga. God help anyone who made the lavender eyed woman upset, not even her father had been spared Kira’s wrath when he made the mistake of disowning the Hyuuga heiress for coming out. And Sasuke was grateful for her fury now. Anyone else would have told him to calm down, that he was overreacting, or that he should move on. He was always expected to be devoid of emotions, immune to hurt. Not Kira though, she saw through his bullshit façade the same way Naruto did, only instead of trying to comfort or calm him, she would raise hell beside him. “He’s only doing this because he thinks it’s what he’s supposed to want. It’s not. And he’s been lying to himself, you and her for way too fucking long.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened and his pulse raced. He knew that look, she was ready to burn the world for him. He was both humbled and excited by the prospect. 

He, Naruto and Kira had known one another forever. But the blonde haired blue-eyed boy had been the bright center of his dark universe for as long as he could remember. They bickered, fought, laughed and caused trouble together since childhood. Then after an accidental kiss that brought certain feelings to light, they started dating in secret in high school. Four years of sneaking around, making out behind closed doors, making love silently in the dark under the guise of regular sleepovers and study sessions, and it was all thrown away as soon as Sakura Haruno finally confessed. 

Naruto had spent most of their childhood chasing her, while she chased Sasuke who couldn’t care less. Sakura was the epitome of the perfect girl. Smart, pretty, well-rounded and popular from a prosperous family. She was everything most girls wanted to be and all guys wanted to have as their own except for one raven-haired boy who was secretly smitten with another. Naruto’s father being in politics put him in the spotlight more often than not, and was encouraged to pursue the girl indirectly. It never amounted to anything though, because she was always enamored with the Uchiha boy. However, the only people who mattered to him were Naruto, Kira and his family. And when Kira started dating Hinata, she became important to him too by extension. Then Naruto left him for the pinkette the instant she claimed her love for him at the battle of the bands their senior year of high school. Literally. 

They had just finished their encore after winning the show. Kira had dragged Hinata off to makeout somewhere outside of the humid auditorium. Sasuke and Naruto were just finishing up putting their equipment in the back of his cousin Shisui’s van when Ino and Sakura showed up. Sakura was blushing profusely, her confession ringing in Sasuke’s ears, then everything moved in slow-motion as Naruto approached her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Sasuke’s world came crashing down as he watched his best friend since the womb and lover of four fucking years just…

He walked away, numbly pulling out his phone and calling a breathless and probably in the middle of sex Kira who immediately sensed his distress and came running, a worried Hinata in tow. Upon the revelation, chaos ensued. The two girls were the only ones who knew about Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship. With Hinata’s family being extremely traditional, their own had been a secret as well. Hina’s brother Neji had been threatened with castration upon accidental discovery (again, literally, there was a knife present during negotiations for his silence upon failing to knock when entering his sister’s room), but other than that no one knew of the four’s true dynamic outside of the band. The girls understood without words the taboo Naruto had committed. Even if he wanted to be with Sakura, kissing her in front of his boyfriend, secret or not, was still cheating. It was shitty and selfish and beyond fucked up.

Kira had wanted to beat the shit out of Naruto right there and then, but Sasuke wouldn’t allow it as he physically dragged her away with Hinata’s help. If anyone was going to kick the idiot’s ass it would be him. So instead, the following Monday she somehow got a hold of the mic in the school announcements booth and declared Naruto Uzumaki persona-non-grata, kicking him out of the band and declaring an open audition for his replacement. Naruto, who had avoided the raven all weekend, finally confronted Sasuke at lunch, accusing him of being a petty asshole, to which Sasuke replied by breaking Naruto’s face, starting a fight that ended both of them in the hospital. No reasons were given, despite threats from their parents and principal. They took their punishments in defiant silence. The remaining month before graduation had the group of friends divided and left in the dark, none of the four willing to share the true reason behind the split no matter their friends’ pleas. 

Now, four years later, Sasuke, Kira, Hinata and Sai had a successful band while Naruto and Sakura had pursued more ‘reasonable’ white collar careers, Naruto pursuing politics and Sakura on her way to becoming a doctor. Hinata had kept in touch via Neji, Kiba and Shino, and Sai’s relationship with Ino kept them sparsely linked with their old friends. Sasuke’s heartache never faded, no matter how many times he tried to move on or how many days and hours had passed since Naruto had been his. He was an Uchiha, or as Kira called them, a Chinchilla, and they only fell in love once. Naruto owned his heart, as much as he hated it, hated being thrown away for a plastic bride and a political-marriage cliché, Naruto Uzumaki would always own him. But Kira, like Sasuke, could hold a grudge like no one’s business. Which is why, upon learning of Naruto and Sakura’s impending nuptials, the prospect of getting some vengeance was more than appealing.

“I think it’s about time to wake the blonde fucker up, don’t you think?”

Sasuke’s palms were sweating now with anticipation. Or maybe it was too much coffee? No. He was ready. He calmly placed the phone down on the table and slid it over and took a sip of his cold bitter coffee. Nothing to read into there. “What did you have in mind?”

She smiled, her ‘run for the hills I’m going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat smile’ that matched Sasuke’s ‘bone chilling ball shriveling I’m going to bathe in your blood if you don’t shut the fuck up’ glare/smirk combo. 

Really, these two were just a volatile combination. It’s what made Hinata the perfect partner for her, her light and innate sense of calm kept Kira’s lightning in check, much like Naruto’s natural warmth and sunshine kept Sasuke’s fire reasonably contained.

“Well, how would you feel about a ‘Graduate’ slash ‘Godfather’ wedding crash? With a ‘Devil Wears Prada’ style, of course.”

“Of course.” Sasuke chuckled, already picturing some possible outfits in his head. “That sounds reasonable, though unfortunately it’d have to be without the whole succession of murders though.”

“Aww but I was looking forward to saying ’Leave the gun, take the cannoli’!” She mock-pouted. “Yeah, yeah, I know. They’re still friends and family, no one will get hurt, physically at least! This is still a wedding, and there will be emotional repercussions, it’s just a very wrong, in desperate need of correction one. And I can’t stand idly by while the two of you pretend you’re no longer in love and shit.” She scowled at her coffee and took a gulp. “Plus a little humiliation will do the idiot some good.”

Sasuke hummed in agreement and ate some more fries. The light snoring of the waitress and distant sounds of the television the cook was watching in the kitchen the only sounds in the desolate place. 

“Aunt Kushina will be upset.” He replied absently.

“She’d be more upset if she knew how unhappy you both really are. I mean, you’ve seen the pictures of them. I know you have. Your masochistic ass totally stalks them both on socials,” he shot her a look that anyone else would read as betraying nothing but she saw the guilt as plain as day. “He looks just as miserable as you do when we’re alone. A mismatched pair of kicked puppies. He doesn’t look half as happy with her as he did with you and your smug ass knows it.”

He didn’t even try to hide his satisfied smirk. The three of them could always read one another easily, in a way that not even their parents could. Itachi came close sometimes, but his physical distance and emersion in his relationship with Shisui created a gap that overtime became too large to bridge.

“True. But I’m still better looking than either of them.” He stated matter-of-factly.

The two laughed heartily at that. Sasuke’s ego remained unfazed even after his experience, partially due to the fact that anytime they were in town Naruto would ‘accidentally’ run into him, and try to entice Sasuke into sleeping with him. Sasuke refused, though he did enjoy leading the blonde on and it killed him to pretend he was unaffected by the blonde’s pleas for physical affection, stating that as long as he was still with the pinkette he couldn’t have him. It infuriated Naruto, who had become Konoha’s number one desirable male, but Sasuke wouldn’t stoop to his level. If he wanted him, then he would have to give all of himself. Sasuke Uchiha did not fucking share. 

In addition, Sasuke was in great shape. Naruto may have been desired locally, but thanks to their inter-national fame, Sasuke was desired globally. Their music was provocative and violent, and the band members dressed accordingly. Each one was in peak physical condition, exuding sex appeal both on and off the stage.

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved him off smiling brightly. “So, what do you say? Wanna get your man back with a little payback or what?”

Sasuke smiled serenely, imagining the devastation this would cause, the hours and hours of punishment he would inflict upon the blonde once he had him back to himself as he made him beg for forgiveness, and the prospect of claiming the blonde once and for all HIS. 

“Kira my friend, I’ve been ready.”


	2. Living the Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's POV

Things had escalated quickly.

One minute, he was on top of the world. The natural high he had gotten from performing in front of the whole school had been overwhelming. He was in the clouds, untouchable. Nothing could go wrong. The world was his oyster and all that jazz. 

They were loading the van borrowed from Teme’s Un-Uchiha-like hyper cousin and Naruto was just thinking about how things couldn’t get more perfect. The argument with his parents earlier about how he should be focusing more of his endless energy on getting a girlfriend and worrying about his political image rather than rebelling in a childish rock band had been forgotten until Sakura and Ino approached and flipped the world upside down.

Suddenly, he remembered the disappointed looks on his parents faces when he said he didn’t plan on going to college or following in his old man’s footsteps. He remembered his mother’s tears and his father telling him pursuing a career in music was futile. They had been so hurt, and all they wanted what was best for him. 

In a daze, he embraced Sakura. Embraced the vision of his future his parents had worked so hard for and sacrificed so much of their time to create opportunities for him. Opportunities that he was willing to throw away for something that was bound to fail. And his secret relationship was part of that inevitable failure. Nothing planted in the dark could thrive.

And when he kissed her, it felt okay. Not wrong but not right. Just…ok. He forgot all about his boyfriend standing behind him, forgot all about their promises and dreams and everything that had come between. He was still up there, in the clouds, seeing a future of bright lights and the happy faces of his parents.

The next minute, he landed in reality. Hard and right on his ass. He could hear Kira’s distant shouts as she was pulled into the van and driven away. Ino and Sakura had been confused, fearing and assuming that his cousin had some sort of secret crush on him and was jealous. He allowed them to believe it, if only to protect himself, because technically he was in a relationship and Sakura might kill him even if his bandmates didn’t. Though now it was safe to assume he wasn’t in a relationship with Sasuke anymore. 

Not after this.

He ignored everything that weekend, choosing to bask in the light of his parents’ happiness, Sakura’s bright smiles that were finally directed towards him, and the freedom of being in a public relationship. He held her hand at Sunday dinner after his mom insisted he invite his new girlfriend and her family over right away, pushing the feelings of dread and guilt down into the pit of his stomach and sporting his best picture perfect smile. Everything was good, his parents were happy, Sakura was happy, and he liked the positive attention he was getting more than anything. His mother cried happy tears, and his father said he was proud Naruto had found someone so similar to Kushina.

His father was proud.

Sasuke knew what they had couldn’t last, he had to. Not if Naruto was going to go into politics. They hadn’t discussed it before, avoiding the subject because it made them both uncomfortable, but it was there. Underneath the underneath. Becoming rock stars was a child’s dream, they were about to be adults now. They had their time to play in the sun, now it was time to grow up. Sasuke was smart, smarter than Naruto, so he had to know, just like Kira had to know Hinata couldn’t stay with her forever too. The Hyuuga Empire wouldn’t stand for it, so they were temporary too, right?

Yeah. No.

Monday came and with it a storm. He had been dumped from the band in front of the whole school, the action making Sakura and Ino even more convinced of Kira’s feelings for him, but he knew better. He remembered the way she threatened Neji last year and knew it was because of what he did to Sasuke. Why didn’t they understand? He was only doing what he needed to do. He was growing up, why couldn’t they? Being an adult meant making sacrifices, did they wish to remain children forever?

The fight had been awful. Everything they couldn’t say with words because of all the people around them was said with fists and blood. In the hospital they had been separated by a thin sheet and a wall of silence. He tried to explain then, make Sasuke see reason with hoarse whispers and half-hearted apologies, this wasn’t entirely his fault after all. But the raven ignored him. 

That’s when Naruto knew he fucked up.

He had chosen. He had committed. It was too late to go back now. He never went back on his word.

The next four years passed in a blur, consisting of him attempting to fit the mold as well as he could. He attended every boring party, every stale meeting, and every bland event required of him. He stayed out of trouble, lost his mischievous persona, and studied hard to become someone the people would feel confident running things after his father retired. All the while, the girl of his dreams was draped over his arm, walking around and smiling as if she had been born for the spotlight. Born to be a politicians’ wife. 

Together they were Konoha’s Favorite Couple.

But every once in a while, Sasuke would come home. Sasuke was like a drug. His drug. He would find himself practically stalking the dark haired boy at parties and events that consisted of Konoha’s elite families. It was hard to escape Sakura at first, but then she’d spot Kira and she’d go off trying to flaunt her happiness and success, only to be ignored and further infuriated. He used the brief opportunities to try and seduce Sasuke. All he needed was a taste, one last kiss or fuck or something to get him out of his system. Thoughts of the Uchiha plagued him constantly. What was he doing? Who was he with? Was he happy? Did he miss him too? When would he see him again? 

He was denied each time. It was maddening. 

He was Konoha’s Golden Boy. Everyone wanted him. Everyone but Sasuke. And it only made him want the Uchiha bastard more.

He was selfish, he knew. He wanted his cake and to eat it too. Sakura had been so invested in him, in his career. She had been pivotal to his current success. Her sweet kisses and soft love-making were always done with such pristine perfection, just like she did everything else. She’d moan and pant under him, completely fine with his preference for doggy-style or even anal. She did everything to please him which only further incited his guilt. Her small pert breasts bounced lightly with each thrust, his name cried from her lips each time she came, her loving embrace after as she curled up in his arms. 

She was perfect.

But his mind always strayed towards rough hands, muscled limbs, aggressive kisses, and a passion that could only be found in one connection. A connection that they had practically been born with. Sasuke had been so different. So defiant. With him, Naruto never knew which of them would be on the receiving end and which would be giving. It didn’t matter. They would be lost in pleasure either way, guaranteed. Everything had always been a fight for dominance with them, especially sex. Neither of them ever truly winning or losing, no matter their position. And when Sasuke whispered his name it would be with reverence. Never obligatory. And his eyes. Naruto loved to see his eyes when they made love, onyx orbs delving deep into his soul like a fire consuming him from within.

Kami how he longed to feel that burn once more. Just once.

Naruto’s mind and body craved two different things, two different people, and he tried to reason that he could somehow have both if he tried hard enough.

Still, Sasuke never gave in. It was one or the other, and his heart could not decide.

Graduation came, and Naruto was prepared to officially begin his political career. His internship had been a success, and he would now be starting working as his father’s apprentice. Sakura was accepted at Konoha’s prestigious hospital and would be continuing her studies to become a doctor while working as a nurse and assistant administrator. The two had barely enough time to spend together but remained publicly steadfast. And then the questions started coming. When will you two be getting married? How many kids are you planning to have? Will it be a spring wedding? Have you thought of purchasing a house or will you be commissioning your own design?

He didn’t know. Didn’t know anything. Wasn’t this too soon? No, this was how things were supposed to go. College, Career, Marriage, Kids, Death. That was it. Even when Sakura’s parents pulled him aside to grant the blessing he hadn’t asked for, to give him the emerald ring that belonged to Sakura’s grandmother, and to suggest he ask Sakura for her hand when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, he obeyed numbly. This was what he was supposed to do. 

He was a puppet, dancing and making everyone around him happy but himself.

No, he was happy. 

Wasn’t he? 

As long as his loved ones were happy, he could be too. He should be. His mother only cried happy tears now. His father’s smiles were no longer consoling. He was their perfect son, smiling all the time and spreading sunshine everywhere he went. Ignore the empty feeling in his chest. 

Ignore the raven haunting him. 

Ignore. 

Ignore. 

Ignore.

Sakura was ecstatic. She began planning immediately and Naruto’s mind hadn’t even settled yet. Ino wanted Sai to get The Band to play, and Sakura agreed if only to have the opportunity to make Sasuke and Kira jealous. Even after all these years, Sasuke’s unashamed publicly known pansexuality and promiscuity, and Kira and Hinata’s engagement and subsequent disowning of the former Hyuuga heiress (and the destruction that fell upon Hiashi following it), she still thought that the reason the two didn’t speak to them was because Sasuke wanted her and Kira wanted him. 

Naruto never bothered to correct her.

And now he was stuck, half-ass planning a wedding he knew he should want to a woman he knew he should be over the moon to wed. He repeated he mantra he developed in his head and had used the last four years to remind him to holdfast. 

He had chosen. He had committed. It was too late to go back now. He never went back on his word.


	3. Foundations

Contrary to popular belief, the Uchiha’s were a lively bunch. Sure, they were epically stoic in public, especially when it came to business and police matters, but within the confines of their own their rowdiness would put the Uzumaki to shame. Sasuke’s elder brother Itachi had always been a cool exception to that rule, maintaining his calm exterior almost 24-7, allowing only a few moments of liveliness when alone with him or Shisui. Sasuke was jealous over the other boy for a long time, feeling that special side of Itachi should only be reserved for him, until it was explained that Itachi loved them both equally, but in completely different ways.

Itachi coming out at 13 hadn’t even been a big deal to the family, but it had changed Sasuke greatly.

They were having regular Sunday dinner at their Grandfather Madara’s house. Uncle Obito and Kakashi were joking around with Sasuke’s mother Mikoto about who had the funniest arrest story between the three of them, which had Sasuke and Shisui completely caught up in fits of giggles. Shisui’s dad Kagami and Sasuke’s dad Fugaku were taking jabs at one another for not being able to hold their liquor at the holiday party held at the police station last year, betting their metaphorical manhood on whether Chief Fugaku or Assistant Chief Kagami would be the one to toss their cookies at the upcoming celebration. The two life-long best-friends and very distant relatives often engaging in such competitions that no one even bothered to keep track of their win/loss ratio including them.

“So Itachi-kun,” their grandfather’s deep baritone broke through the various laughter to reach the silent boy who was quietly observing his family with a small gentle smile. Said boy inclined his head towards the elder with a small inquisitive nod. Madara smiled his ‘I know a secret smile’ that had caught the attention of several others at the table. “tell me, is there anything new with you?” 

Of course Madara never asked a question he didn’t already know the answer to. Every Uchiha worth their salt knew that, including Itachi. 

“Yes Madara Ji-Sama, there is.” The voices and laughter died down, but Sasuke’s nii-san was staring at their grandfather with a light blush and a nervous smile. Nii-san was never nervous, or afraid. Sasuke grabbed his brothers hand under the table and squeezed, offering comfort and support for whatever was to come. He felt his brother squeeze back and Sasuke held his breath. “I have recently come to the conclusion that I am gay.” 

Sasuke was confused. Gay? “What’s gay Nii-san?”

“It means he wants a boyfriend and not a girlfriend Sasuke-chan.” Uncle Obito supplied. “Like me and Kakashi-chan!” he finished with a loud wet kiss on the gray-haired man’s cheek. 

Sasuke was definitely confused now. Why was Nii-san nervous about that? His mother squealed and got up to give her eldest son a hug and kiss congratulations, and their father patted him on his back from Itachi’s other side, mentioning that Itachi should still remember to be safe (was he in danger?) and to come to him with any questions or concerns. Kagami mirrored the sentiments and Shisui remained silent, however he was red as a tomato and staring at Itachi unblinkingly.

“Hmm…is that all grandson?” Apparently, Grandpa Madara wasn’t done yet. 

“I-”

“We’re in love.” Shisui blurted and quickly covered his mouth. Itachi stilled and locked eyes across the table with the spiky haired Uchiha. No one spoke for several agonizingly long seconds before a burst of screams, laughter and ‘finally’s rang out. Sasuke’s small hand detached from his nii-san’s slightly larger one and he slipped away, unseen in the loud crowd of congratulations the new couple seemed to be swallowed up in.

Blood pounded in his ears. In love. His nii-san was in love. That meant he wouldn’t have time for Sasuke anymore. He would be Shisui’s now, like how his mom was his dad’s and his uncle Obito was Kakashi’s. He knew being in love meant that your precious person became your favorite and only person. Sasuke would be left behind now.

His grandfather found him hiding in his study, sobbing angrily. “Now now, no need for that little one.” The eight-year-old boy let himself be scooped up into his grandfather’s arms and be cradled. Grandpa was alone too. Grandma had died when his mom and uncle Obito were young, and he was still strong. Still ok. If he was ok alone, then Sasuke would be too, right? “I will not have my favorite grandchild be upset over something so beautiful and precious as love. I know you are feeling like you will be left behind now that your nii-san is in a relationship, but let me assure you that will not happen.” 

Sasuke gasped. How did grandpa know? Oh, right. Grandpa knows everything. He blushed deeply and hid his face in the man’s chest in shame. “Never doubt your brother’s love for you. Your great-uncle Izuna had felt the same way as you do now when I entered my first relationship, and it will not be until you fall in love yourself that you will truly understand the differences in love that one has for a sibling or child from the one for a mate. They are all equal in their might, just expressed differently. You will never lose your place in Itachi’s heart.”

“Foolish little brother.” Sasuke took a deep breath and turned to see his nii-san standing in the doorway with a smile on his face. He walked over and took Sasuke gently from Madara’s arms who patted both their heads and left silently to join the raucous group in the other room, shutting the door behind him. Itachi looked down and poked him in the forehead, making the small boy pout and rub the spot reflexively. “I will always love you Sasuke, no matter what.”

After the fight he had with Naruto, Sasuke had been grounded until graduation. Kira had also been in trouble for breaking into the office and ‘inciting a fight on campus’ so Mikoto grounded her too for good measure. A few winter’s prior, Sasuke, Naruto and Kira had been in the car with Kira’s mother when a truck lost control in the snow and hit them dead on. They were in the middle of nowhere, having gone to visit an old temple a few hours from the nearest town. The impact killed the woman instantly, and Sasuke had instinctively shielded Kira and Naruto from the impact leaving them both relatively unharmed while Sasuke took the brunt of the damage. Since he and Kira had the same blood type, the medic-priest at the temple allowed the adamant girl to donate her blood for the transfusion, saving his life. Mikoto and Fugaku took her in after that. 

The first few days of being grounded were rough. In addition to nursing a broken heart, all access to technology was removed other than what was required for schoolwork. Sasuke kept a secret iPod mini in his locker at school which he basically only listened to ‘Jolene’ on repeat until Hinata commandeered the thing and deleted all the Dolly and replaced it with ‘Le Tigre’, feigning perfect innocence with her damn moon eyes when he got upset and yelled at her. The entire time Kira laughed and suggested he make ‘Deceptacon’ his new anthem. Sometimes he didn’t know whether they were trying to help him or drive him insane.

Being grounded for a month had its upside though, as they were able to avoid dealing with any nosy friends who tried to pry into the affair by invading their personal space. And of course, solidarity. The two had been grounded together, which meant grueling chores that required teamwork and nights and weekends alone at home while the adults went out. The time spent in silence enabled them to grow closer as friends and to change their musical direction as well. The radio-friendly alternative rock that they had been playing before was no longer adequate. Their emotions were no longer suitable for such…nonsense. 

So for a month they used the isolation to create something that would become a musical beast, discussing in low tones during lunch at school with Hinata the details of her bass lines and added notes. By the time graduation came, they had about two albums worth of material ready to go and the recording studio booked.

Sasuke had been determined to show that he was the better man. That Naruto hadn’t broken him. The cliché of ‘the best revenge is success’ had merit, after all. 

Calling Itachi had been the first step.

Itachi’s anger wasn’t entirely unexpected. In fact, Sasuke had been counting on it. He knew that even though his brother had his own life in Ame with Shisui, that the words both he and their grandfather had spoken to him that day would stand. Getting the older Uchiha to hold back and let Sasuke handle it his own way, however, had taken some convincing. 

“You have to trust me nii-san, this is the best way.”

“I do trust you otouto, but I do not think that gambling your future-”

“It’s not a gamble Itachi-nii-”

“It is. The music industry is-”

“We’ve already had offers.”

“…What?”

Sasuke looked smugly across the dining room table at his brother who seemed genuinely surprised. “We sent demos to all five major labels.”

Itachi raised a brow. “How many responded?”

Sasuke smirked. “All of them.”

“Hn. And how do you know that they weren’t interested just because of your last name? Or Akirama’s? Or the Hyuuga girl?”

To be honest, the question offended him, but he didn’t show it. Instead he calmly took a sip of the iced tea he was drinking and glanced to the side nonchalantly. “They didn’t.”

“Sasuke, you don’t know-”

“We used aliases. No one knows it’s us. Not even at the recording studio.”

That shut the older Uchiha up. Sasuke could hear the gears in his prodigious brother’s mind turning as they sat in silence for a few moments. “I see. Which one are you interested in?”

“None. We turned them all down.”

“…What?”

Surprising Itachi Uchiha was a rare feat previously thought impossible. And Sasuke had managed to do it twice in one sitting. He almost wished Naruto was there to see it because Kami knows how hard they tried getting such a reaction out of the stoic Uchiha. Almost wished. 

He sighed, pushing the thoughts of the blonde out of his mind and focusing on the present, undeniably satisfying moment. He needed Itachi’s support if he was going to get his parent’s to go along with this. “We want to go with an indie label called Hebi Records from Oto.”

“Otogakure? Sasuke, mother and father will never let you go there, that place is..why would you want to sign with them? Why bother submitting to the major labels?”

“Strategy, of course.” He reached into his backpack and pulled a manila folder out with the contracts and letters from each label and passed them over. Itachi looked over them not even bothering to hide his admiration. The labels offers varied from basic to somewhat generous signing bonuses, but the one from Oto offered the most artistic freedom. “We wanted to show Hebi our value so that we could negotiate for exactly what we want, and to show everyone that we aren’t taking a gamble. Everything was done via email, we haven’t met with anyone in person…yet.” He paused to take a breath, steeling his words. “This is happening aniki.”

“Sasuke, this is…incredible.” The younger Uchiha was unable to hide his own surprise and happiness when his brother looked up at him with a large smile, moving to poke him in the forehead. “Forgive me Sasuke. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

The pout and rub were reflexive but his brother’s words lifted a weight on his chest he had been carrying. He ducked to hide his own smile. “Hn.”

“So then, my foolish little brother, what do you need from me?”

Coming out to his parents that night was the second step. Well, two-part step. He was coming out about his sexual identity and as the first Uchiha not to go to college. One was bound to be the straw…

The easier one was his pansexuality. His parents of course, reiterated their love for him and were happy he was finding himself, conveying their hope that he would find someone special one day no matter who or what they were, as long as he was happy. He could see the wheels turning in their heads but he neither confirmed nor denied their suspicions about Naruto. Kushina and Mikoto were best friends, but the Uzumaki’s were a political family, and weren’t able to embrace diverse sexualities within their own. 

Telling his parents that he would not be attending either Konoha or Akatsuki Universities hadn’t gone over as well. 

“Sasuke dear, think about this. Oto is not the type of place for an Uchiha to reside, let alone a Senju or a Hyuuga!” His mother pleaded.

His father looked grim. “Your mother is correct. Even if we consented to this…Hiashi Hyuuga would never allow it.”

“Hinata is of age, just like the rest of us. We aren’t asking for permission Tou-san.” Kira spoke up from her place beside Sasuke.

Fugaku’s jaw tightened and loosened in an instant, and Sasuke would have missed it if he wasn’t looking and he wasn’t an Uchiha. “Then what are you asking for?”

“Your support.” Sasuke answered. “We submitted everything anonymously to make sure there wasn’t a bias, that we are wanted because of our music, not our names. But when we sign, and we are going to sign father, we will be doing so as ourselves.”

“Isn’t that counter-productive?” His mother asked.

“No. Our music is an expression of ourselves. We don’t want to hide behind it or mask who we are. We want to be free, and to inspire others to be free as well.” Especially a certain blonde idiot dick-head.

“Not everyone is as accepting as our family son.” Fugaku shook his head. “You will be making yourselves targets to bigotry and hatred.”

“I’d gladly play the villain if it means others will feel safe enough to be themselves.”

“We all will.” Kira added, placing her hand on Sasuke’s and squeezing tightly.

“Shisui and I both believe this is the right choice.” Itachi spoke up, immediately gaining the attention of Mikoto and Fugaku. He had been silent up until now, allowing Sasuke to present his case to their parents. He knew that if Itachi believed in him then his parents would more likely to go along with this. He wanted to do it on his own but unfortunately his parent’s over-protectiveness over him and Kira wasn’t to be underestimated. “The Uchiha haven’t always sided with popular opinion anyway. Grandfather Madara is the perfect example of that with his political exploits. And Uncle Obito has faced plenty of persecution for being an openly gay officer. Uchiha are practically immune to hatred. One might even argue that we thrive on it.” 

“Yeah! Well, we are also all ridiculously good looking too so having haters is like, completely normal. And I mean, how awesome is it going to be to have the first Uchiha Rock Star in the family?!” Shisui exclaimed. “This is going to be awesome!”

The sound of his mother’s laughter let him know that they had won. She clapped her hands and cheered. “Oh yes! And think of all the bragging rights we will have Fu!”

His father sighed deeply. He was outnumbered and he knew it. “Fine, I suppose-”

Nothing else was heard as Kira squealed uncharacteristically and tackled their parents in a hug, followed quickly by Shisui and, to his utter horror and delight, Sasuke himself. Itachi had been content to watch until their father noticed and the dogpile shifted, Itachi’s third look of surprise of the day being the best.

The third step had been Sasuke’s personal favorite. 

Signing with Hebi Records had been the ultimate moment.

Sasuke felt bad that Hinata had to go through telling her father she would not be attending Konoha’s prestigious Law Program like the others in her family alone, but since she and Kira had become best-friends (and eventually breast-friends), the girl had grown out of her stutter and into her spine. 

It had been ugly, she showed up at his mother’s door with bags in her hands and tears in her eyes. Hinata hadn’t been as lucky as them but at the time there was still hope that their success would change her father’s mind since he hadn’t disowned her yet, and was just expecting her to fail and come back to him. It was unfortunate that Hiashi underestimated his daughter’s resolve. Sasuke was one of the few that knew first-hand the extent of the Hyuuga girl’s quiet strength and determination. Even if they somehow failed, she would never give up or go back like a kicked dog. The woman was a lioness.

The three teenagers moved to Oto in a small two-bedroom apartment down the street from the label office. Orochimaru, the head of the label, brought in Sai to replace Naruto and they hit the ground running. For the next four years they had lived and breathed their music. Sasuke never hid any part of who or what he was. They were loved and they were hated, but they were known.

They had succeeded, and now it was time to cash in on that success.


	4. Friendly Chats and -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning I guess for non-het sex stuff. <3

Sasuke left the shower, burgundy towel wrapped loosely around his waist, and padded across the apartment to the bedroom he shared with Sai. Even after all the money and fame, they still lived in the shitty two-bedroom apartment, having spent most of their time in the studio or on tour anyway. It made good for spur-of-the-moment inspiration jam sessions and everyone’s favorite midnight margarita parties.

He heard his phone ring from the kitchen and went to answer it, recognizing Itachi’s ringtone War’s “Me and Baby Brother” he answered with a “Hn” before heading back to his room.

_“Good afternoon Otouto.”_

“Nii-san.” Sasuke put his brother on speaker and began applying some eyeliner.

_”Is that Sasuke-chan? Hiiiiiiiiii Sasuke-chan! It’s me, Shisui nii-chan!!”_

_“He knows who you are Shi, you don’t have to introduce yourself each time you-”_

_“Sasuke-chan!! When are you coming to visit? I miss you!”_

Sasuke suppressed a grin at his brother-in-law’s antics, imagining Itachi’s eternally-tired visage on the other end of the phone. “I miss you too Nii-chan. How’s life with the grump?” Browsing through his accessories, he chose his favorite black leather wrist band and a few silver studs for his ears, throwing in a red star on the right and a small purple hoop on the left.

Itachi huffed, likely irritated with being ignored and there was some shuffling that Sasuke could only assume meant Shisui was wrangling the phone away. _ “Oh you know him! Always pouting and worrying about his precious little Sasuke-chan!”_

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, applying the gel to his hair and styling it to his liking. “Is that so Nii-chan?”

_”Yeah! Especially since-” _There was some more shuffling and a muffled ‘staahhhppp Itachi!’ before his brother got back on the phone.

_ “Ahem. Yes Otouto, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-”_

Shisui shouted “you’re rude!” in the background.

_“-that all is prepared on our end for the wedding. Would you be needing anything else or…?” _

“You can’t beat him up Itachi.”

_”I wasn’t going to suggest-”_

_“Yes you were! Don’t lie to Sasuke-chan Itachi-bear! You’re always grumbling about how-OW!!” _

Sasuke sighed and wiped his hands clean from the gel, removing the towel and picking out some clean briefs. “No Itachi. I can take care of that idiot myself.” He heard his brother sigh and smirked. “Thank you for offering though.”

_ “Hn. Well, should anything go amiss or should you change your mind…” _

“You’ll be the first one I’ll call Aniki, promise.”

His brother let out a satisfied hum and offered a farewell, Shisui literally screaming goodbye in the background. Sasuke hung up feeling pleased and scrolled through his phone, noticing the time and how late he was he cursed and shot a quick text.

Stepping carefully over one of Ino’s discarded strap-ons, he entered the closet and rummaged through his multitude of clothing for something that felt right for the day. Humming thoughtfully, he decided on a light grey, deep v-neck t-shirt and a short, loose dark purple skirt with a high split on the side. Grabbing his black leather boots and socks, he left the apartment and headed towards the tea shop around the corner.

Hinata was already seated, long midnight hair hanging loose around her, a silver roman-style crown of leaves her only accessory other than the Opal and diamond halo ring on her finger. Her long-sleeved, lavender floral-patterned gown flowed nicely to just above her knees, hugging her gracious curves. Silver ballet flats completing her ensemble.

“What are you all dressed up for Hina-titties?” he greeted. 

She turned and smiled sweetly, standing up to kiss his cheek. “This is how I always dress!” she defended, raising a hand to get a waitress’ attention. 

“Hn.” He smiled and slid into the set across from her, leaning an elbow on the table and resting his head in his palm.

A petite red-head came by to take Sasuke’s order, blushing bashfully at Hinata who paid no attention as she sipped her tea with perfect poise. After she scurried away he shot his friend a knowing look and she sighed. “Father called me.”

Sasuke raised a brow and alarm bells went off. “Does-?”

“No. And I don’t want to tell her yet. That’s why I asked you to come.” Her large moon eyes pleading innocence, and even though he absolutely knew better he was struggling to resist.

“Damn it Hina, you can’t put me in the middle like this. You know she’s gonna kill me right?” As if he wasn’t stressed enough!

“Please Sasuke-kun, you know how things ended up last time. I want to make things right with him before the wedding, and since it is likely that he will be attending the Uzumaki “event”, I figured it would be best to try and amend things before things get…out of hand.”

He snorted in acknowledgment and shook his head. She had a point. If the plan went right there’d be no reception, and therefore no opportunity for Hina to talk to her father. On the other hand… “Aren’t you worried your involvement in this might sour his opinion and undo anything you might accomplish beforehand?”

She giggled lightly and he smiled in response. “I don’t think his opinion of me can get any worse, do you?”

The raven hummed thoughtfully. Hinata was known around the world as the “Lesbian Goddess of Rock”. Her natural elegance on and off stage, inherent grace and femininity, was a complete oxymoron from her heavy complex bass riffs, sexually charged lyrics (sung in her deceptively sweet voice) and provocative performances, sometimes going so far as to getting them thrown off stage from her behavior alone. And she always, always, dressed like an innocent princess or miniature goddess, earning her moniker within the first year of their debut. If Hiashi Hyuuga hadn’t had a heart attack by now, her involvement in the upcoming wedding sabotage wouldn’t do it.

“Fine. You have a point. But I’m telling K this was all your idea, and if he goes too far I’m going to have to step in in her place. Kami knows what she’ll do to me if I let anything happen to you.”

The sweet evil goddess across from him smiled and nodded knowingly. She knew he would agree before she even invited him and he fucking knew it. Sasuke briefly lamented his life before Hinata became the lioness before him. She used to be so shy, quiet, afraid of her own shadow. And now…

The waitress brought his tea and slipped her number to Hinata, who picked it up and handed it back without a second glance. “Don’t embarrass yourself dear.” The girl turned as red as her hair and fled, Sasuke nearly choking on his tea.

Years ago, before the accident that took Kira’s mother and before the accidental kiss between him and the dobe, there was summer camp in the Land of Waves. That was where they met Haku, the first person that made Sasuke question his sexual identity as anything other than the previously thought Asexual. Haku was gorgeous, strong, intelligent, and after years of staying online friends, apparently intersex and very, very into Sasuke, though not the relationship type. It also helped that Naruto had once confessed to having a small crush on them, which at the time, made Sasuke a little jealous, and in pure spite had pursued the secret friendship, which later turned into something tangible. After learning of what happened between the two, Haku agreed to help Sasuke anyway they could, being a little bit vindictive and catty themselves.

The sex was fucking amazing.

Sasuke pulled out of Haku, his frustrations taken out on every orifice the beauty had to offer and completely, utterly spent. The drinks turned dinner with Hinata’s father had been draining and stressful. Once it was over, Hinata was happy and Sasuke had no desire to go home and face Kira. He dropped Hina off and headed to Haku’s for a quick fuck, thanking Kami for their friends-with-benefits relationship because going out and finding someone to help relieve stress was publicity nightmare he didn’t want to deal with ever again. He’d learnt his lesson the first time, thank you very much. 

Proving Karin Uzumaki was in fact, not a prostitute despite her attire was one thing. Learning he had accidentally fucked the shit out of his ex’s estranged cousin was another. And the legal troubles that followed her stalking and claims of pregnancy nearly ruined him. He was incredibly lucky Orochimaru had the best lawyers this side of Hyuuga town and that his family were understanding. Though, he did have to apologize to his mother for the baby thing, she was much too young to be a grandmother.

Of course, a small part of him always felt guilty after sleeping with someone, but for the most part he had grown out it years ago.

After all, at any given moment Naruto could be balls deep in cotton candied pussy, and Sasuke was a selfish bastard anyhow. And his cock wouldn’t wait to be satisfied.

Haku rolled to the side, cum leaking down their thighs and onto the soft pink sheets. Sasuke caressed their left breast absently, circling a thumb around a dark brown nipple and pinching softly. Haku moaned and pushed their ass back, rubbing up against Sasuke’s hardening member.

“You want more, gorgeous?” Sasuke asked, voice husky and hand groping at the same lazy pace.

“Mmm hmm.” Haku turned their head slightly and pressed swollen lips to Sasuke’s moaning again when their tongues met and Sasuke’s hand left their breast and travelled down to their genitals. 

“Tell me where.”

Haku spread their legs wide and took both of Sasuke’s hand in their own, dragging them up and down their body agonizingly slow while continuing to grind their ass against him, eliciting a moan from deep within his throat.

“Everywhere.”

The young Uchiha returned home just after midnight, sated and ready to sleep for a week. He hadn’t gotten laid for almost two months, having been busy and distracted by thoughts of fucking the blonde of his dreams soon.

He entered the apartment quietly, slipping off his shoes and making his way to his bedroom. Sai was spending the weekend in Suna with Ino for some botany convention, so he’d have the room to himself for at least another day. 

Collapsing in bed he could hear Hinata’s soft reverent moans coming from the other side of the wall. Kira’s muffled groans gave him the image of what was likely going on, considering the white-haired woman would often get drunk and brag about how sweet her hime tasted, and that going down on her was the ultimate pleasure, never failing to make her cum without even laying a hand on herself. 

Unwillingly, his tired cock sprang to life and began to pulsate. He groaned, pulling his pillow over his ears and turning away and groping for his headphones on the nightstand. Putting on some Robert Johnson, Sasuke quickly found sleep.

He should have known better then to think he was safe.


	5. The Disaster Bachelor

It was the night before the wedding, and Uzumaki Naruto was drunk.

The day had been so stressful it was almost beyond comprehension.

Were weddings supposed to be this hard?

It began with the florist. Ino’s family had been asked to make the arrangements, but there appeared to have been a mix up with the invoices and there was too much baby-breath and not enough of something else. 

To be honest, he really didn’t give a shit about flowers. But he nodded and sympathized the way Sakura expected of him, and offered any number of solutions that didn’t help until she finally screamed so loud he ended up leaving the room. 

Only to be called in a few hours later, when the caterer, which wasn’t Ichiraku’s like he wanted, nor Akamichi’s like he also wanted, but the overly expensive family-owned sushi restaurant on the upper East end of Konoha called Neko-Baa’s that Sakura had insisted on, called to say that they had a family issue and wouldn’t be able to proceed, offering a full refund of the deposit.

It was a madhouse.

Ichiraku’s couldn’t do it on short notice, with only Ayame and Old man Teuchi running the shop, they’d needed advance notice for staff and supplies. Plus, since Sakura had denied them as caterers in the first place, Naruto and his mother had invited them as guests, being long-time patrons and family friends.

The Akamichi’s could swing it, but it was going to cost them, even with a family discount, it was less than 24 hours notice and the guest list was over a mile long.

Naruto was hemorrhaging money at this point.

By the time the crisis with the music arose, Naruto was already two scotches in. And thank Kami for that. Sakura was crying hysterically. Apparently, the classical music ensemble octet that Sakura had hired consisted of at least three people Sasuke had, at one time or another, slept with. Including his estranged cousin Karin. 

They had showed up for a sound-check and rehearsal, where a very stressed Sakura met them to confirm for a two-hour performance. When she was informed her that the contract and payment had been for one hour she’d lost it and began yelling at them. It was then Sakura recognized Karin, Suigetsu, and another’s face from the tabloids, and to her horror, ran out of the reception hall and immediately called Naruto, who wanted now to scream and cry himself.

Ino, being the Maid of Honor, was trying her best to keep everything calm and in order, but even she was losing her patience. Sakura hadn’t done herself any favors by picking out powder-pink chiffon bridesmaid dresses with pearls and laced gloves and parasols. The visible disgust Ino, Temari and Tenten had on their faces was poorly masked, even to him.

So when Shikamaru and the guys finally rescued him for the bachelor party, he was practically running out the door.

Dinner and drinks at Ichiraku’s was classic, and Naruto could almost feel like a normal person. Though there were some moments where he caught himself wishing Sasuke was there with him, laughing and spending the last night of bachelorhood with him.

Two-hours later they’d made it to the strip club. Naruto was drunk and could only think of Sasuke. Could only see Sasuke. In each woman who presented herself along the catwalk, who ground herself and gyrated on the poles, the blonde’s hazy mind only saw one raven. 

He blamed the music videos and youtube clips of live performances that he may or may not have watched obsessively on the vividness of his imagination. Sasuke sang and performed like he fucked. Naruto could attest to that.

Beside him, his friend’s faces blurred. Kiba, Gaara, Lee, Shika, Choji, Sai, Shino, Kankuro, Neji, even his assistants Sora and Konohamaru faded in and out of focus. Shaking his head a bit, he went for a piss and ordered a water which he downed before returning. He still didn’t know which ones pulled him up from his lap dance and into the VIP room, where he flopped onto the soft couch and smiled lazily. Several pats on the back and a packet of condoms and some hundreds were handed to him and the door closed.

The lights dimmed and a slow rhythmic beat began to play. Naruto found himself slightly swaying with the music, only slightly sobering up. 

The person who came out was wearing his favorite. Black leather and purple satin, and a black mask over their eyes. His eyes were glued to them as they slowly danced, sliding their back down the pole in thigh high heals and one hand above their head, the other trailing down their chest to their crotch. The black eyes beyond the mask stayed glued to his own, and in that moment Naruto was convinced that everyone who worked here was an incarnation of his hauntingly beautiful ex. 

As the tempo of the seductive song increased, so did the performance. Pieces of clothing were slowly stripped away, revealing bits of tight, pale flesh to the blonde’s hungry blue eyes. And it wasn’t until the dancer had crawled forward on their knees to kneel before him, that he had the courage to reach out and touch.

It wasn’t allowed, his mind whispered. But the dancer didn’t seem to mind. His hands were taken from him and controlled, moving along the curves of exposed thighs, ass cheeks, stomach and back. When the final piece of top was removed to reveal a flat, muscular, _man’s_ chest, Naruto found himself shockingly sober and in a painfully aroused state. He took back control oh his hands then and moved them towards the tightly bound leather crotch area, and he nearly came when he came in contact with could only be an erection, as rock hard as his own.

Blue eyes looked up into black, as the dancer straddled him and tipped his head back.

“Figure it out yet, dobe?”

Naruto’s breath was taken away in an instant. With shaking hands he reached up and removed the mask. “Sasuke?”

“Hn.” The raven leaned down and captured his mouth, and suddenly Naruto was lost in oblivion. That taste, he knew it anywhere. And now he was sure, he could smell and feel and dear Kami how could he have gone this long without him? Without this? This wonderful, amazing feeling. This connection that was so much bigger than either of them. Sasuke’s hands were in his hair, and Naruto’s were everywhere. He was crying and apologizing and spilling his heart out all while grinding himself against the Uchiha’s clothed erection. Their mouths found one another, time and time again in-between diversions to necks and throats and clavicles and nipples and any exposed skin within range.

When he came, correction, when _they_ came, it was everything he’d been missing in the monotony of heterosexual, correction, _non-Sasuke_ sex. His mind blanked as his cock continued to pump and pump, his orgasm causing his whole body to shake as he gripped tight onto the raven above him and unhearing of his own loud moan over the roar of blood in his ears.

What felt like an eternity later, Sasuke held his chin up and kissed him softly. 

“Please, don’t go Sasu. Stay with me. Just for tonight. Please.”

Whatever he said broke the spell. Sasuke removed himself and stood, condescendingly superior and confident, even in nothing but boots and a thong.

“You’re getting married tomorrow loser.”

Naruto buried his face in his hands. “I know. I’m such an idiot.”

“I know.” Sasuke’s voice was cold, and he gracefully grabbed onto the poll and hauled himself back on the small stage. 

The blonde looked up, suddenly unable to speak as Sasuke’s inky black cloak ethereally floated onto his shoulders, and the Uchiha disappeared.


	6. Countdown

_Sasuke’s POV_

The day of the wedding had finally arrived. 

The day that he would finally get what he wanted. 

Revenge _and_ his man.

Today was the day.

Sasuke was pacing back and forth in the hotel room while Kira shot rapid-fire texts on her phone, preparing her part of the Master Plan. 

So far, they’d been lucky. 

He’d gone through the checklist over and over and over. Everything had to be perfect. There could be no mistakes.

His mind turned over, and he began again.

Sasuke had done his first part early on. Convincing Ino to sabotage her best friend’s wedding had been the most difficult part so far, but the blonde-haired woman seemed to know something he didn’t. Sasuke would have pressed her, but he didn’t really care at the end of the day. All that mattered was she agreed to fudge some invoices, and feign ignorance to the series of coordinated disasters that followed.

Karin’s compliance was an easy one. The red-head had become something of a friend after the whole dramatic pregnancy scare. Granted, he hadn’t even bothered until Suigetsu and Jugo, his other sexual conquests who together made up three of the four members of their classical string-quartet, had reached out to him for a friendly get together. After a while, Karin and Suigetsu became an item, as Jugo and Kimimaro, their fourth, established a relationship as well. Sasuke found he liked them all better as friends anyway, and there was no lingering awkwardness between them. So when he learned they’d been picked to play the wedding, reaching out and asking for a devious favor was as easy as scheduling one of their pizza nights.

Having Neko-baa cancel on the catering last minute cost him though, not that he couldn’t afford it. Sakura had made a mistake when she chose his godmothers restaurant, one that was too easy to exploit. One phone call, a sizeable wire-transfer to her personal account, and a promise to stop by soon with her favorite shrimp flavored crisps and he was set. 

Then there was Itachi’s part. 

To be honest, that had made him the most nervous. He would have done it himself, but his brother not only offered to sacrifice himself but literally insisted on it. Unable to argue, and with enough shit on his plate, Sasuke agreed. And if he had to cut off a limb and offer it to the elder Uchiha at a later date, well, that was something he was more than willing to do.

And last, was Hinata. She was-

“Will you stay still a moment!” 

Sasuke paused in his march and looked up to see the woman he was just thinking of holding a set of dry-cleaning bags and a make-up box glaring at him with lavender eyes. 

“He’s been in his head all morning.” Kira mumbled from her hunched over position, thumbs swiping and typing autonomously. “No use trying to calm him down. He just needs to tire himself out.”

“You’re acting like I’m some hyped up toddler!” Sasuke shouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Hinata giggled and laid the clothing on the bed carefully and went over to her finance, grabbing her face and kissing her. “Hello to you too!” The dark-haired woman greeted.

“Hey babycakes, sorry, I’m just in the middle of-”

Her phone dinged and grabbed her complete attention once again. Hinata giggled again, patted her lover’s hair, and turned to Sasuke. “Now then, let’s get you ready!”

She clapped her hands together and gave him a hungry look. Suddenly, the checklist in his head disappeared, and the only thing left in his mind was a loud, urgent voice screaming at him to ‘run!’.

By the time his brain rebooted and caught up to the present, it was too late. Hinata’s unreasonable strength was in full-force as she dragged him to the bathroom, stripping him of his pajamas and shoving him into the shower.

It was going to be a long day.

***

_Naruto’s POV_

He was getting married today.

The blonde man rubbed his head. Not even out of bed yet and he was in an intense amount of pain. 

He opened his eyes slowly, taking in the Greek tragedy that was his hotel room. It looked like that scene in Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” after the character Pink obliterated his room. What the fuck happened last night?

He just hoped the room wasn’t registered in his name.

Naruto pulled himself out of the bed, ignoring the throbbing of his head that intensified with each step, and navigated his way carefully to the bathroom. Kiba was asleep in the tub, surrounded in a pile of shoes. Naruto recognized his favorite orange and blue Air Jordan’s in the mix, which was strange because he was sure he wore one of the nameless overpriced dress shoes that Sakura made him buy last night.

Oh well.

After the longest piss in recorded history, he washed his face and rinsed the taste of bile and trash from his mouth, holding onto the sink as the earth threatened to tumble beneath him. 

“Fuuuucckkkkkk”

The groan came from Kiba, but Naruto felt the statement was more than adequate. 

“Bro, what the hell even happened last night? And where did all these shoes come from?” Kiba looked around dumbfounded, and it was only then the blonde noticed the inked in whiskers on his cheeks.

“Fuck if I know.” Naruto closed his eyes and sunk down to the floor. It was much safer there.

“Oh shit! Thank god!” 

Both men turned at the ridiculously loud exclamation from Konohamaru and whispering various forms of ‘shut the fuck up’.

“Sorry Naruto-san! It’s just that-”

Naruto held up his hand to silence his assistant. “Just a little bit lower Kono, please.”

“Or even better, don’t speak.” Kiba climbed out of the sea of shoes and flopped on the ground next to the blonde. “Just bring coffee and aspirin. Lot’s and lot’s of aspirin.” 

Naruto nodded in agreement, then winced at the pain it caused. 

“I’m sorry!” The assistant whisper yelled. “But there’s no time! I’ve been looking for you for hours! You weren’t at your hotel room or your apartment, and the others had no idea where you, Kiba, Shikamaru or Choji had disappeared to, so I had to go and ask Kakashi-san to track-”

“Konohamaru, please calm down. Seriously. Breathe.” Blue eyes opened and lamely registered the panic in the boys’ eyes. Figuring he must look like shit, the Uzumaki shrugged it off. 

“But-”

“What time is it anyway?” Naruto interrupted. There was light coming in from the small bathroom window, but he couldn’t look directly at it without enduring too much pain.

“And what’s the coffee situation?” Kiba mumbled.

“Hey guys, mind if I piss?” Shikamaru trudged in and made his way to the toilet. “My head feels like I slammed into the pavement. Anyone got a line on some caffeine?”

“The kid’s on it.” Kiba replied. “Yo Shika, what the fuck happened to your face?”

Naruto glanced up to see the same whiskers inked in on the spiky-haired man’s cheeks, and as much as it hurt him he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“My face, what about yours?” Shikamaru smiled and splashed some water on his cheeks, frowning when the ink did not smudge.

“Guys, please-!” Konohamaru pleaded.

“Morning gents.” Choji entered the now cramped bathroom and sat down on the toilet. 

Kiba glared at the newcomer. “Dude, you are not seriously about to drop a load right now!” 

Shikamaru was still at the sink scrubbing his face.

“Don’t worry about me, worry about washing your face.” Choji countered.

“My face?! What about yours! You look like an idiot with swirls _and_ whiskers you know!”

“Fucking shit guys, it’s my wedding day,” Naruto begged from the floor, one arm covering his nose. “Please, for the love of ramen, can you keep it down just a bit?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Konohamaru shouted, all measure of polite whispering gone. “It’s half-past noon! Your wedding ceremony is in an hour!!!”

Naruto and Kiba bolted up at the same time. Shikamaru threw up in the sink and Choji dropped off his package.

Naruto was fucked.

***

_Sakura’s POV_

Today was supposed to be her day.

All little girls dreamed of it. At least, that’s what she believed. The day they were the bright and shining center of their own little universe, where everyone and everything catered to their whim.

And of course, there was a groom.

And therein lay the problem.

He was late. His tent on the other side of the courtyard was precariously empty. She had sent word that she was to be notified as soon as he arrived, and yet, no Naruto.

_You have reached the voicemail box of-_

“Arrrgggghhh!!” Sakura screamed and threw her phone at Ino’s head, who narrowly dodged it. “Where the fuck is he!?”

Her maid of honor held up her hands. “I don’t know Sakura! Let me go and-”

“GO!” Sakura picked up her dress and stalked over, jamming her finger into her chest. “Find him and drag his ass here! I will not be made a fool of on MY wedding day!”

Ino scurried off and Sakura turned to glare at her reflection in the mirror. Ino had been on her shit-list ever since she had the nerve to complain about her dress. As if she should be anything but grateful Sakura had chosen her for the position, didn’t she know how many women would kill for that honor? She’d been approached repeatedly since her engagement was announced. This wedding was the biggest event in their village! Everyone who was anyone was here! The media coverage alone-!

All morning she had been forced to smile and blush as her mother and mother-in-law pampered her. The photographers came in and took candid photos of her make-up and dress. The tight corset bodice was heart shaped and embroidered with pink pearls and diamonds. The chiffon skirt of the dress puffed out in a very princess-type fashion, ending in a ridiculously long train that would trail for several seats when she walked down the aisle. Her hair had been styled in a row of rosettes, pinned with dangling pink pearls. And then, her tiara. It was more of a crown really, littered with diamonds it secured her veil which nearly rivaled the train of her gown in length.

She practiced her smile in the mirror. The same false persona she had developed back when she was a pre-teen to lure in Sasuke had been put to good use. People did not like strong women. They liked them shy, bashful. Obedient. Sakura hid her true self and became what people wanted because she knew that was the way she could be loved. By them, and by him.

Her plan had been perfect.

And sure, there were a few bumps in the road. She underestimated the rivalry Sasuke and Naruto had over her, thinking that it would force him to make a move and instead driving him further away. But she was persistent, and patient. She rode it out.

And now she was getting married.

But she still had hope. Nothing was set in stone until they said ‘I do’. 

And he would be here. She knew it.

She held up her left had and admired the emerald engagement ring. Even after all these years it still held a shine to it that fascinated her as a child when it still adorned her grandmother’s hand. She knew even then that this was the ring for her, just as she knew who her groom would be.

“Knock knock.”

Sakura whirled around at the foreign voice, only to come face to face with _her_.

“What are you doing here?!” Sakura sneered. She hated this woman with every fiber of her being. If not for Naruto’s mother insisting that she be invited, Sakura would have nothing to do with her.

Kira smiled at her and held up her hands. “I just came to congratulate you, and you know, apologize. We’re gonna be family now, so I thought it was a good time to bury the hatchet.”

“Ha! _Family?!_ You haven’t spoken to your cousin in years! And all because you have that sick crush on him!” Sakura glared. “You disgust me! Take your apology, shove it up your ass and get out of my tent!”

To her dismay, the woman did not obey. Not like Ino and Tenten and Temari, who scuttled around her because they understood how to treat a woman who was about to get married. No. This woman was completely uncivilized. 

The white-haired female walked around the tent to the standing vase and ran fingers over the pink roses. She was wearing a fitted dark blue suit, clearly tailored to her ridiculous curves and left hand lazily in her pocket. Black satin stilettos with authentic red bottoms, matching black dress shirt buttoned all the way and red tie finished her ensemble. Her long white hair was styled in waves to one shoulder, and Sakura felt a shiver of intimidation as her red eyes landed on her.

“Sorry Sakura, but I really think it’s time we talk.”

***

_Sasuke’s POV_

Sasuke stepped out of the limo and held his hand out to Hinata. Her strapless gown was dark blue, floor-length, and tight as hell. She wore the same black satin heels as Kira, with red roses pinned intermittently in the braided vine of her hair. Holding her black satin clutch, she smiled at him and looped her arm in his. Grinning devilishly back, they made their way to the entrance. 

Showtime.

***

_Naruto’s POV_

There was no time to hit his tent. The hotel they had somehow found themselves in was on the opposite end of town. Kiba had practically threw all the shoes out of the tub and shoved him in under the scalding water, while Shikamaru went to get another room and coffee. Konohamaru had Sora bring the suits and more coffee, and then it was a race to the location.

Of all the places in Konoha, Sakura had to insist on the winery thirty-miles outside of town.

Uphill.

They ran in, slightly sweaty but on time. Barely. Ino met them at the entrance with fear and loathing in her eyes. The whiskers drawn in permanent ink had not faded a bit. Tenten and Temari ran in and fussed over his suit, straightening out what the guys had missed and moving on to the others while yelling insults and reprimands. Naruto blinked at the hideous pink chiffon dresses that made them all look so utterly ridiculous he could not begin to describe it. Apologies were rapid fired, but ignored as he was told to get his ass to the alter so they could begin.

His tuxedo was crisp. Hair styled in the pre-approved form. If he looked in the mirror he would not have recognized himself.

It was a good thing there was no time for the tent.

He walked into the area and met with Kakashi, who had an earpiece and checklist in hand, and an open copy of _Icha Icha_ on top of that. 

“Yo! Just on time Naruto!” 

The blonde chuckled lightly and gave the man a hug. “Yeah yeah. Sakura’s gonna kill me later, so let’s get this started. I want to get to my last meal as soon as possible!”

Kakashi laughed at him and winked. He was wearing an all black tux, black facemask with small pink rose and baby breath boutonniere the only color. Naruto absently ran his hand over his own, slightly larger version of the floral arrangement on his breast. She hadn’t allowed him any orange, and because all his stuff was at the original hotel, he wasn’t able to wear his fancy orange boxers he’d bought in secret for the occasion.

With a signal, the orchestra began the first song. Naruto took a deep breath and began his march. He smiled awkwardly at the people in the chairs, only recognizing a few. Most of these people were strangers, business associates and others who he’d have to kiss their asses later during his political endeavors.

Sighing internally, he made it to the front and smiled warmly to their officiate, his aunt Tsunade. She had been the one thing Sakura and he agreed on, seeing as how she was Sakura’s mentor at the hospital. 

“Glad you made it Gaki.” She leaned in and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, me too.”

Choji and Tenten began their march, and Naruto’s eyes wandered to the crowd. His mother was staring at him blankly from the front row, his father’s face unreadable. That was confusing. Shouldn't they be happy? Wasn't this the day they had been waiting for? Talking about nonstop for weeks on end? What the actual fuck was wrong with them?!

Mikoto, Fugaku, Jiraya and his cousin Nagato and wife Konan were next to them. Mikoto was holding onto his mother’s hand and giving her what Naruto interpreted as a reassuring smile and speaking lowly, while his parents nodded at random intervals. In the second row, Madara sat with three empty seats next to him, followed by Shisui, Itachi and finally Obito. All offering a set of creepy smiles that sent chills up his spine. While the oddness of their whispering and looks was enough to unnerve him, there was something else that caught his eye.

Hinata slid in quietly from the back just as Choji and Tenten made it to the front. No one else seemed to notice as the blue-haired woman made her way politely down the row to take her place next to Shisui. Naruto’s heart skipped a beat in realization of what exactly her presence meant.

Kiba and Temari were walking down the aisle now. Naruto’s palms began to sweat. Hinata was speaking to Madara, leaning over the two empty seats. Behind them, in the third row, Neji, Hanabi and Hiashi offered their greetings. When the hell did they make up?! She kissed them all on the cheeks and went back to her conversation with Madara. Neji’s face went pale, and met Naruto’s gaze.

Fuck.

Shikamaru and Ino were almost to the front now. Shit. When did Kiba and Temari get here? His tuxedo was much too thick. His back was damp and he needed water. Dehydration from all the alcohol. 

Shikamaru’s hand rested on his shoulder and he leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You ok man?”

“Uh huh. Great. Good. Fantastic.” Naruto nodded but did not take his eyes off the blunette.

The Wedding March began.


	7. Ever After

_Naruto’s POV_  
The Wedding March began.

Everyone stood and Naruto was forced to look down the entrance of the aisle. His heart was thundering in his chest. He felt faint. Nervous. Terrified.

And then he saw him.

Sasuke strode down the aisle with his head held high. Shoulders back. Black eyes glued to blue.

Naruto could no longer breathe.

Sasuke was in a pure white suit and heels. The material had tiny sparkles that caught the lighting perfectly, making him seem to glow. The dark blue shirt he wore underneath contrasted it so much that Sasuke’s face became the focal point.

There were whisperings around them. In the back of his mind, Naruto knew Sasuke had committed at least two taboos. Possibly more. But Sasuke clearly did not give a fuck as he made his way to the front.

Naruto’s soul left his body.

Sasuke was in his space.

“Sasu-”

“Shut up dobe.”

No one said anything. The room was completely silent as Sasuke removed the pink boutonniere from him carefully. Naruto stood stark still, eyes glued to the raven. Sasuke pulled the white satin clutch from under his arm and opened it, placing the pink arrangement inside. He pulled out an orange rose, surrounded by some other tiny red flowers Naruto could not name. 

The new boutonniere was pinned in place. Sasuke smirked and tapped his cheek twice, before turning around and facing the crowd. Naruto’s eyes were still focused on his form, watching intently as he greeted their parents and took his place next to Madara.

And then he noticed it.

The Wedding March had stopped playing.

The speakers crackled and everyone looked up.

_“What exactly are you saying Sakura?”_

Kira? What the hell?

_“Are you deaf?! I’m telling you, if you want Naruto, you can have him! I never wanted him in the first fucking place! Just as long as he never touches my Sasuke-kun again!”_

The crowd murmured. Madara hushed them all with a look and a uniform silence fell.

_”You think that video makes any difference to me?! Like I haven’t seen every picture, every news reel, every video of him in the last four fucking years!? Just because Sasuke-kun hooks up with someone doesn’t mean shit to me! I know he loves me! He was just getting it all out of his system!”_

Video? Oh shit. Cold chills travelled down his spine. His stomach dropped and his face went pale.

_“I don’t think that’s what it is Sakura. Sasuke loves-”_

_“He loves me! He’s always loved me! Just like Naruto has always loved me! Don’t you see? That’s why I started dating that idiot in the first place! Sasuke was too stubborn to admit it, I had to make him see! But then YOU ruined everything with your stupid band and stupid crush on that blonde moron and you stole him! Now I’ve waited four fucking years for this day, and it’s all going to be worth it! Do you know why?”_

There was a moment of silence. Some people were looking at him horrified, others at the speakers in disbelief. Sakura’s mother got up and Madara stood and ordered everyone to sit still. No one moved after that.

_”Haven’t you seen the movies? When the bride is about to marry the wrong guy, and the love of her life shows up and objects? And they run away together and live happily ever after?”_

_“Like in ‘The Graduate’?”_

_“YES! Exactly! Today is the day that Sasuke-kun shows up to sweep me off my feet. When Tsunade-sama asks for objections, he’ll realize he’s about to lose me forever and he’ll finally acknowledge his feelings for me. That’s when I’ll finally be free, and we’ll spend our days together away from you and Naruto and all your stupidity!”_

_“Sure.”_

_“Don’t 'sure' me you bitch! I just told you, you can have Naruto! I’m done with him after today. You don’t need to pretend with Hinata anymore. Can’t you just be happy with that and get out of my face!?”_

_“I’m not pretending with Hinata. I love her, she’s my entire world. And if she decided one day that she no longer loved me and wanted someone else, as much as it would hurt me I’d force myself to let her go if it would make her happy. I wouldn’t manipulate her into staying with me, but I wouldn’t give her up without a fight. Your idea of love is bullshit Sakura. You’re blinded by it.”_

_“FUCK YOU! Get the hell out of my tent with your bullshit! I’m done with you!”_

_“Fine with me. I think it’s time for your debut anyway.”_

There was a clicking sound the speakers emitted a low humming. Naruto stood at the alter feeling confused and sick.

Kira appeared at the end of the second row. She made her way down the seats to take her place between Hinata and Sasuke, who both greeted her with kisses on the cheeks. Naruto watched in sadness and Hinata caressed Kira’s face, a small tear running down the Hyuga woman’s face. Kira wiped it away and whispered into her lips before the two shared a deeper kiss. Naruto’s heart pulled at the sight and he looked away, only to see onyx orbs staring deep into his soul.

The moment stretched. Naruto ached to call out to him, but he was stuck. Frozen in his place between longing and agony.

And then he heard her.

Sakura’s angry whisper echoed in the silent place. The speaker crackled to life and the Wedding March began again. Only a few people stood this time, while others looked on with varying degrees of morbid fascination.

Naruto himself could not tear his eyes away from the train wreck as it approached in slow motion.

Sakura’s face was hidden by her veil. She walked down the aisle with her father, who seemed to be in physical pain where Sakura’s death grip on his arm connected. There were whispers all around.

When she made it up to the front, her father’s shaky hands removed the veil from her face. She smiled sweetly, and Naruto wanted nothing more to throw up. After kissing him on the cheek, she turned and held out her hand to him. Naruto blinked dumbly, and she glared.

Reaching out she grabbed his hand forcefully and pulled herself up to the step, leaning into his space like Hinata and Kira only moments ago.

“Naruto!” She whisper-yelled at him and he blinked again. “What the fuck did you do to your boutonniere! I specifically forbade you from wearing anything orange!” 

No, nothing like Hinata and Kira.

“Um…” He leaned back and away, unsure. Looking at Tsunade for help, he found none. The woman was too busy glaring at the pinkette.

Sakura huffed and straightened herself. Turning, she smiled prettily to the audience, emerald eyes landing on the Uchiha she was apparently convinced was here for her. Her smile widened and she perked up, practically bouncing on her heels as she turned to face Tsunade.

“Sorry for the delay shishou, we can begin now!”

Tsunade scoffed and turned to him. Naruto’s eyes were wide. Was this really happening right now? 

“Well then Gaki, what would you like to do?”

He turned to her, his mind running a mile a minute over every single thing concerning Sakura and Sasuke for the last four years, then stretching even further back.

“What are you-” Sakura began, but Tsunade hushed her quickly.

He then looked over at his parents. His mother had a few tears, holding both his father and Mikoto’s hands tightly. His father smiled at him, then gestured with a jerk of his head over his shoulder.

Where Sasuke was.

Naruto’s blue eyes hardened. “I came here today to get married. And that’s what I’m going to do.”

_Sasuke’s POV_

There was a few gasps from the crowd. Sakura’s brow furrowed, clearly confused. Shikamaru leaned in close to Naruto and whispered in his ear, but the blonde shook his head.

Sasuke watched intently, heart hammering in his chest.

It had to work. _It had to._

He was not delusional like Sakura. Naruto and Sasuke were meant to be together. They’d loved one another for their entire lives, probably beyond that.

He had tried, so many fucking times, to get over the blonde idiot who stole his heart and soul. But it never worked. And he knew, he fucking knew that it had been the same for him. Why else did the Dobe seek him out every chance he got? 

He was not alone in this love.

He couldn’t be.

He watched, heart breaking ever so slowly as Naruto turned from him to look at his bride.

_The Wrong Bride._

His ears were ringing. He couldn’t hear what was said. His vision blurred as tears welled up. 

No. 

It couldn’t be.

He couldn’t fail like this.

Anything but this.

Anything but them.

And then-

Then the world stopped turning.

Naruto was in front of him, bending on one knee and holding a hand out. Sasuke blinked. The tears fell gently on his cheeks.

“Sasuke Teme, will you-”

Smack! 

Madara had slapped him on the back of the head. Naruto winced and rubbed the sore spot, peaking out the glare at the old man.

“You forgot to ask his father’s permission first boy! Don’t think you can skip steps just because we’re already here!” Madara crossed his arms over his chest and Sasuke smirked.

Over at the altar, Sakura was gaping like a fish. Sasuke flashed her a triumphant look as Naruto stood, mumbling to himself about crazy Uchiha’s and hangovers and respect. The blonde circled around the front and bowed to his parents. “Uchiha-San, please forgive my rudeness. I would like to-that is, um, may I please have your permission to marry your son?”

Fugaku glared at the blonde a few moments, making the blonde sweat and look up uncertainly, before his mother poked him in the ribs. “If he agrees, then yes. But if you ever, and I mean EVER, harm him in any way…”

The threat lingered. Beside Sasuke, he heard Kira crack her knuckles and the following bump of someone backing into a chair, which he safely assumed was Neji. “I promise, I will care for him with my life. And I’ll never hurt him again.” Naruto’s blue gaze was steel. He strong, pure boy he once was had finally returned in the form of a man.

_His man._

“Hn.” His father grunted and Naruto smiled back, turning to his own parents. This was a moment he’d feared. Their rejection, and Naruto’s retreat. But Itachi had promised he’d fulfill his part, and make them all see that their happiness outweighed any political setbacks. And Itachi always fulfilled his promises. “Tou-chan, Kaa-chan, I-”

“Go on then,” Kushina clasped her sons hands. “Hurry up before the food gets cold! Your father hasn’t eaten since last night, and you know how he gets!”

“Kushina!” Minato grumbled. “She’s not wrong son, go on. You’ve made him wait long enough.”

Sasuke smiled softly at the blush that rose on Naruto’s naturally whiskered cheeks while his heart cheered. He watched as the man approached him again, only to be stopped once more as Madara went to shake his hand. Naruto looked down then smiled.

And then he was on one knee.

“Sasuke, I’m an idiot.” The raven laughed along with a few others in the crowd, loving the feeling of Naruto’s hand on his own. “But if you’ll allow me, I’d love to be your idiot. If you’ll have me?”

The Uchiha smirked, “Hn.”

Naruto grinned back, and then Sasuke gasped. Out of nowhere, Naruto produced a ring. It was a silver diamond band with a red ruby in the center. Sasuke recognized it as belonging once to his grandmother Makoto, Madara's wife. But the once tiny band had been expanded to fit his finger, a row of fresh pure diamonds lining the way as if it was originally made that way. Made for him.

“Is this really-?” It slipped on easily, and he held it up to his face, Naruto coming up with him.

Kira leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You think we’d let you get this far without a ring? Baka.” She squeezed his shoulder and gave him a push forward.

Naruto took the cue and pulled him towards the altar where the Wrong Bride still stood, wrestling with her bridesmaids. Ino had her hand over the woman’s mouth and Tenten had her arm’s pinned as the angry bride attempted to free herself, green eyes set on the two men. 

He blinked. The Uchiha had completely forgotten they were there.

“NO! This is not how this was supposed to happen! This is WRONG!! GET OFF ME! Sasuke-kun! Please, tell them this is wrong! You’re here for me right?!” Sakura jumped towards him and Naruto pulled him out of the way just in time.

“Actually, you were right about one thing. I did come here to bust a ‘Graduate’, but I didn’t come here for you.” Sasuke sneered and stepped over her. “Now if you please, you’re ruining my wedding day with your presence.”

“Sa-Sasuke-kun!” she bawled, attempting to get up off the floor. Sasuke watched impassively as her parents attempted to help her, hushing her and apologizing to the people observing. Sakura’s mother tried to yell at Naruto, but was once again silenced by Madara and Minato. Taken aback by the sudden turn of events, the Haruno family left with one last shout of how they would not be paying for the wedding.

Luckily, Itachi had already taken care of that too. Come Monday morning, the Haruno family would receive several large receipts letting them know that they’d in fact, already paid for everything. All in thanks to Sakura’s freely given signature and a few legal documents.

Note: Always read something before you sign it.

The poorly dressed bridesmaids made their way to some unoccupied seats, as a large portion (mainly Sakura’s family) had vacated. There were still a few snobs and politicians he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter much to him as all the people he cared about were there. Kira, Hinata and Itachi walked out of their row and towards him.

Which is when he realized that Itachi was wearing the same suit as Kira, only with the latest Armani dress shoes. Hinata went over to the groomsmen and pulled out several red rose and orange camellia boutonnieres, replacing the pink ones. She finally pulled out one more that matched the one Sasuke had put on Naruto and placed it on his breast. Sasuke smiled at her and kissed her cheek, whispering thanks.

He turned to see Itachi and Kira had matching ones as well, and Kira held two matching bouquets of the same arrangement in her hands. She gave the smaller one to Hinata and then walked over to him, handing him his own with a kiss. “Mission Complete.”

“Arigato.”

Smiling, she turned to Naruto. “Break his heart again and the Uchiha’s will be the last of your worries, got it Uzumaki?”

Naruto nodded quickly, eyes set with determination and a tiny bit of fear. Itachi walked over and whispered something in his ear, and Sasuke held in a laugh as his almost-husband’s knees buckled and he nodded again. Everyone took their places, Itachi standing as his best man.

“Alright then!” Tsunade shouted, gaining everyone’s attention. “Now that we have the _Right Bride_, shall we begin?”

Sasuke smiled, looking into the bright blue eyes of the only idiot he’s ever loved. Naruto stared back at him, and an ocean of unspoken words passed between them. Sasuke knew he’d spend plenty of time in bed punishing the blonde for breaking his heart, but he’d spend even more time allowing him to mend it.

After all, they were meant to be.

“Yes, we’re ready now.”

***

“Oh fuck!”

Sasuke’s groans were muffled as Naruto continued to choke on his cock. Pale fingers were thread into blonde strands, pulling them tight with each thrust.

Naruto looked angelic like this. Watery blue eyes, swollen pink lips, drool and cum and tears leaking down his face.

It was fucking perfect.

There was a Weeknd song playing in the background, but all Sasuke Uchiha-Uzumaki was concentrating on was the sounds coming from the two of them.

Moans. Slurping. Profanity.

And they hadn’t even left the limo yet.

He was nearing his peak. Legs spread on the black leather, blond husband kneeling between them. The blue and purple florescent lights that lined the inside were interchanging with the beat of the music. Champagne sat untouched, ice melting along with Sasuke’s resolve to keep this punishment going.

After all, this was their new start, right? A marriage starting on the right foot, and not in the past?

No, that wasn’t who he was. Sasuke reveled in his past. It made him who he was today, influenced his decisions for the future.

He would forgive Naruto, eventually. After hours of begging, torture and releases, when every inch of his body had been expunged of the pink demoness’ touches, then they would begin their new _new_ start. 

And Naruto would be his, and his alone.

The thought alone of that day brought him to the precipice. Sasuke’s balls tightened and his release came. Naruto took it all like a champ, tan fingers digging into the flesh of pale thighs as he greedily drank it up.

Leaning back, the dark eyed man eyed the blue one with a teasing satisfaction. They hadn’t wasted anytime leaving the scene of their crime, what with several people clamoring to complain and others still trying to comprehend what happened. Sasuke tossed the bouquet over his shoulder immediately after signing the certificate, idly noting that Ino was the one who caught it. Naruto whisked him away after that, heading towards the ridiculous white Rolls-Royce Phantom Limo and a very confused driver.

Not that it really mattered anyhow.

With Naruto panting before him, erection straining in his dress pants, tie askew and blue eyes directed at him with an old familiar intensity that sent shivers down his spine, Sasuke decided that none of it really mattered. He had won. He spread his legs wider and motioned for his husband to come closer, their lips crashing instantly.

Sasuke savored the flavors of cum and victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> useless Tumblr @the-boo-box


End file.
